1. emailsfromthedccc:

INT. HOUSE ON DGA HILL - DAY
ANNOUNCER (V/O): Hey kids! What time is it? KIDS (V/O): POLLING BEAR TIME! ANNOUNCER (V/O): That’s right!
JINGLE: I love you, you love me/Money’s our dem-o-cra-cy/With a million emails sent from me to you/won’t you opt for One Click too?
Polling Bear enters with kids.
POLLING BEAR: Hey kids! KIDS: HEY POLLING BEAR! POLLING BEAR: How are you today? BILLY: I’m sad, Polling Bear. POLLING BEAR: Oh no! Why’s that? BILLY: I’m concerned we won’t be able to effectively counter the negative ads being run this very second in key swing states by the GOP! POLLING BEAR: Don’t be sad, Billy! We have a chance to shut down the Tea Party and win even in Southern states!Kids gasp. SUZY: You mean states like Georgia and Florida and even South Carolina? POLLING BEAR: That’s right! BILLY: But how, Polling Bear? POLLING BEAR: Well, Billy, it’s all up to your parents. SUZY: Our parents? POLLING BEAR: That’s right, Suzy. We need your parents to come up with $50,000 by midnight tomorrow, or else!Kids gasp. SUZY: Or else what? POLLING BEAR: That’s not for me to say, Suzy. But at a minimum, conservative policies will render their jobs obsolete and their savings worthless, and your personal autonomy as a woman will be outlawed!Kids gasp. STEVEY: Polling Bear, my dad says you’re wrong about this, that only the markets can create jobs and prosperity, and that free birth control is for women who can’t keep it in their pants. POLLING BEAR: Your dad sounds like a real asshole, Stevey.Kids gasp. BILLY: So what do we do, Polling Bear? POLLING BEAR: Why, get your parents to donate, of course! SUZY: But isn’t political fundraising a race to the bottom that perpetuates our broken legislative system and enslaves progressive candidates to the same forces pushing the policies we’re campaigning against?Polling Bear pauses for 45 seconds. POLLING BEAR: No! STEVEY: This all sounds great, Polling Bear, but do you have this same information in a shorter, more easily digestible, really garish format that I can read on my daily commute, and then fourteen further times during the day? POLLING BEAR: I sure do!Kids cheer. POLLING BEAR: Now gather ‘round, kids - let’s all sign this birthday card to President Obama! SUZY: Why? POLLING BEAR: God dammit, Suzy.
ANNOUNCER (V/O): Next week, on Polling Bear…
INT. HOUSE ON DGA HILL - NIGHT
Polling Bear pulls up FiveThirtyEight on his iPad. POLLING BEAR: It’s storytime, kids! Tonight, I’ll tell you the tale of how Nate Silver slew the Giant Kentucky Turtle… SUZY: I think you’re misrepresenting Nate Silver’s conclusions about this race, Polling Bear. POLLING BEAR: Suzy, if you could just shut the fuck up for five seconds.
Cut to commercial.

    emailsfromthedccc:

    INT. HOUSE ON DGA HILL - DAY

    ANNOUNCER (V/O): Hey kids! What time is it?
    KIDS (V/O): POLLING BEAR TIME!
    ANNOUNCER (V/O): That’s right!

    JINGLE: I love you, you love me/Money’s our dem-o-cra-cy/With a million emails sent from me to you/won’t you opt for One Click too?

    Polling Bear enters with kids.

    POLLING BEAR: Hey kids!
    KIDS: HEY POLLING BEAR!
    POLLING BEAR: How are you today?
    BILLY: I’m sad, Polling Bear.
    POLLING BEAR: Oh no! Why’s that?
    BILLY: I’m concerned we won’t be able to effectively counter the negative ads being run this very second in key swing states by the GOP!
    POLLING BEAR: Don’t be sad, Billy! We have a chance to shut down the Tea Party and win even in Southern states!
    Kids gasp.
    SUZY: You mean states like Georgia and Florida and even South Carolina?
    POLLING BEAR: That’s right!
    BILLY: But how, Polling Bear?
    POLLING BEAR: Well, Billy, it’s all up to your parents.
    SUZY: Our parents?
    POLLING BEAR: That’s right, Suzy. We need your parents to come up with $50,000 by midnight tomorrow, or else!
    Kids gasp.
    SUZY: Or else what?
    POLLING BEAR: That’s not for me to say, Suzy. But at a minimum, conservative policies will render their jobs obsolete and their savings worthless, and your personal autonomy as a woman will be outlawed!
    Kids gasp.
    STEVEY: Polling Bear, my dad says you’re wrong about this, that only the markets can create jobs and prosperity, and that free birth control is for women who can’t keep it in their pants.
    POLLING BEAR: Your dad sounds like a real asshole, Stevey.
    Kids gasp.
    BILLY: So what do we do, Polling Bear?
    POLLING BEAR: Why, get your parents to donate, of course!
    SUZY: But isn’t political fundraising a race to the bottom that perpetuates our broken legislative system and enslaves progressive candidates to the same forces pushing the policies we’re campaigning against?
    Polling Bear pauses for 45 seconds.
    POLLING BEAR: No!
    STEVEY: This all sounds great, Polling Bear, but do you have this same information in a shorter, more easily digestible, really garish format that I can read on my daily commute, and then fourteen further times during the day?
    POLLING BEAR: I sure do!
    Kids cheer.
    POLLING BEAR: Now gather ‘round, kids - let’s all sign this birthday card to President Obama!
    SUZY: Why?
    POLLING BEAR: God dammit, Suzy.

    ANNOUNCER (V/O): Next week, on Polling Bear…

    INT. HOUSE ON DGA HILL - NIGHT

    Polling Bear pulls up FiveThirtyEight on his iPad.
    POLLING BEAR: It’s storytime, kids! Tonight, I’ll tell you the tale of how Nate Silver slew the Giant Kentucky Turtle…
    SUZY: I think you’re misrepresenting Nate Silver’s conclusions about this race, Polling Bear.
    POLLING BEAR: Suzy, if you could just shut the fuck up for five seconds.

    Cut to commercial.

    Reblogged from: emailsfromthedccc
  2. McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: Classic Movies Changed to Not Be Sexist.

    Saving Private Ryan

    A group of women who now run the governments of all major countries work out a diplomatic agreement and avoid the anguish inherent in a world war.

    Reblogged from: feministfilmclub
  3. moviessilently:

    Photoplay Cookbook: Victor McLaglen’s “Chili Con Carne”

    Header

    Welcome back! I am cooking my way through the 1929 Photoplay cookbook (recipes of the stars!) and you are invited to tag along. (I have listed all the recipes I have tested on this dedicated page. Check back often.) Today, we will be testing a recipe from another star whose silent work was completely overshadowed by sound stardom.

    The ever-popular Victor McLaglen.

    The ever-popular Victor McLaglen.

    Victor McLaglen was a popular…

    View On WordPress

    I am loving these Photoplay Cookbook posts on Movies Silently!

    Reblogged from: moviessilently
  4. Your female characters are so strong they’re kidnapping characters from other, better books and dragging them into their own scenes to liven up the dialogue.
  5. radiofreeagent:

    Mr. Nanjiani

    Playing House 108

    THANK YOU

    Reblogged from: radiofreeagent
  6. pampongchamp:

    "Or maybe… the mom from The Cosby Show was named after your mother."

    "No, that’s impossible"

    Reblogged from: pampongchamp
  7. Liberal Dude Erotica

    It was funny how he had this way of making women both so comfortable yet so intimidated. He wished he could put his hand on the back of her head and shush her, chase away all her anxieties about her brain. If only there was some way he could let her know how used to this he was, to being smarter. If only he could tell her it wasn’t her fault.
  8. EMMA WINS.

  9. fallontonight:

    Jim Gaffigan loves being a dad!

    reblogged because my sis loves Jim Gaffigan.

    Reblogged from: fallontonight
  10. Boyz II Men come to you with a song called “Water Runs Dry,” and you have no choice but to stick them in a desert in billowy, cream-colored pajamas. Your hands are tied.
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